Thursday, December 12, 2013

The boots are on.



Crisis: Dead-End or Transformation

This was in my neighbors' mail outside their door. I took it as extra motivation to fight my way through to the other side of this experience. I recently watched Under the Tuscan Sun, and it's just like when Patti says to Frances (whose husband left her for another woman):  
"You know when you come across one of those empty shell people, and you think 'What the hell happened to you?' Well there came a time in each one of those lives where they are standing at a crossroads... someplace where they had to decide whether to turn left or right. This is no time to be a chicken-shit, Frances."
Today my ex moved his stuff out.


I was ready for this step and had been for a long time. But it was difficult anyways. The day before and during the move, I was unexpectedly really sad. These five months of seeing his stuff in his office and around the apartment haven't been too helpful for my healing process, I imagine, and I was eager to have it out so I could continue healing and rebuilding my life. But yeah...I didn't know I would feel so sad about it when the time actually got here. I guess it's because it's just so final. Not really knowing what to do, I sat in the empty-feeling living room on a wooden chair, shivering with cold as the -15 degree Celsius bitter air from outside cut through the apartment every time the movers opened the door. Watching the procession of furniture and belongings descend out to the crunchy-snow cold made the death of my marriage concrete.


Two more big hurdles are left. Monday he takes Booboo. I can't even think about that because it upsets me so much. And then there's the finalization of the divorce. As I understand it, one day I will just get a divorce certificate in the mail confirming I am divorced. I so want it to come before Christmas. I guess that day too will be sad, judging from how all these other steps have been so far, but I've put on my boots. I know there is no way out but through. Indeed, it's no time to be a chicken-shit.

8 comments:

  1. Push on through to the other side! Geez! None of my business, but WHY are you letting him take Booboo? Sorry, that is NOT a nice man!

    I would hide Booboo somewhere else - friend's house? boarding facility? and change all the locks.

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    1. Agreed. Why does he get Booboo??

      P.S. I had a Rottweiler growing up named Booboo, which solidifies my belief that you should get to keep yours.

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  2. I firmly agree that Booboo should stay with you. But, if the move is happening, I have a secret message for Booboo.

    Dear Booboo,

    As of Tuesday, you are hereby encouraged to "forget" how to use the litterbox. Anger-pee on everything in sight.

    Love, Petite Chablis

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    1. I just read Booboo your letter as he stood on the arm of my chair and purred and head-butted me throughout.

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  3. Hi SewTypical, Breck and Petite Chablis,

    Booboo was his cat before I knew him. :(

    I asked if he would consider letting Booboo stay with me, and he said no. So...that's why. I worry about Booboo because the ex travels alot and his gf has cats. (Booboo is def way happier as a solo cat, as we discovered a few years ago.) Anyhow...my ex knows my concerns and there's not much I can do about it. I will just try to enjoy this weekend with Booboo and survive Monday and the days after sans Booboo.

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  4. oh my, I'm so sad that you'll have to live sans booboo. Wish you could keep him.
    good luck on Monday and on your way through.
    M├ętamorphose is in the stars for you.

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  5. Oh, I'm so sorry that he's taking Booboo!! That really sucks. Big hugs to help you get through the next few days. I hope you get that certificate before Christmas, too. It seems like it would be fitting to have it all tied up before the year ends.

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